Books That Changed Me (#2)

Don’t Stand in the Soup, Jovial Bob Stein

In the formative years of Your Montag’s, er… “subtle” sense of humor, Jovial Bob Stein was there with advice like this, on dating:

Asking someone for a date isn’t really that hard — if you know the correct and polite way to go about it. I’m surprised that the method you have been using [tripping a girl as she walks by and saying, “How about it?”] hasn’t worked. But since it hasn’t, here is a list of ways to ask for a date that should bring better results:

1. “Hey — like, know what I mean?”
2. “You don’t know me, but would you like to go to Venezuela with me on Saturday?”
3. “I’m willing to give you a break and let you buy me dinner Friday night.”
4. “I’ve tried 16 other people and none of them would go with me to the school dance on Friday. How about you?”
5. “I don’t believe you’re as dull as everyone says you are. How about a date?”
6. “I’ll stop poking you with this stick if you’ll go out with me.”
7. “If you’re not busy on Friday, maybe you’d like to come help me clean the spit valve on my trombone.”