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THE SECRET LIFE OF DROIDS

March 23, 2007


Not long from now, in a place not so far away.

Mailboxes a Point of Contention

Many US residents are beginning to notice the proliferation of Star Wars themed mailboxes. The boxes, decorated as the heroic and memorable R2-D2, commemorate the tri-decadial celebration of the first Rebel victory against the oppressive Galactic Empire.

Reaction to the droided-out boxes has been mixed, though.

Through a series of robotic chirps, beeps and whistles, semi-famous droid R5-D4 told I Miss Fafblog, Spot! “It’s troubling that the United States Postal Service, with this campaign, is willing to perpetuate the unrealistic physical ideals that young droids come to feel they must live up to.” D4 went on to say that the emphasis placed on round-headedness is harmful, and discriminatory against conically-headed astromechs.

D4 is herself a conically-headed droid, a spokesman for R2-D2 said. “R5-D4 is a cone head with a bad motivator. She’s not even an R2 unit! Everybody knows the 5th gen Astros were lemons!” Said Month Kurot, Noscur of the public relations firm Newo, which represents D2. “I don’t think the real issue here is how droids are portrayed in the media. More likely some sort of personal vendetta on Ms. D4’s part. Mr. D2 is quite comfortable with his portrayal in the media. There is no victim here.”

In the past, when asked about D4, R2-D2 has chirped, “She always conducts herself very professionally. Very pleasant to work with. I have the utmost respect [for her.]”

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