Craven Spelt Backwards is Maverick
Could John McCain be the candidate to bring the flight suit back into fashion, after George Bush ruined it for everyone?
SO JOHN McCAIN had a hissy fit and firebombed the Wall Street bailout negotiations at the White House, all in hopes of weaseling out of the tonight’s scheduled presidential debate. That’s not Maverick at all!
But wait! Your Montag opposes the $700 billion $1.3 trillion Wall Street bailout. I’d even go as far as to liken it to giving one’s gambling addicted uncle a hundred bucks to “help” him out of a $100,000 hole, as if the hundred grand he borrowed from a loan shark to cover his debts was ever “his” to lose in the first place.
Destroyed wealth, in the parlance of our times, was never “wealth,” has not been “destroyed,” and was hardly more than nothing to begin with. Considering all the money that’s riding on “it,” “it” is now less than nothing.
So, when the debate in the halls of power seemed to be going like this…
“We must give billions of dollars to Wall Street no questions asked!”
“That is absurd, my good friend, to the contrary, we must give billions of dollars to Wall Street no strings attached!”
…maybe firebombing the negotiations was Maverick after all.
Perhaps we’ll be able to tell from what the McCain’s political opponents had to say about it:
“This is the presidential campaign of John McCain undermining what Hank Paulson tells us is essential for the country,” [whined] Barney Frank, the Massachusetts congressman who had been leading negotiations for the Democrats. “This is McCain at the last minute getting House Republicans to undermine the Paulson approach.”
Obama also [whined.] “When you start injecting presidential politics into delicate negotiations you actually start creating more problems,” he said.
[The Guardian: John McCain ‘undermining’ bail-out to lift campaign]
Yeah, upon further reflection, it was Maverick as hell!
But wait! We can’t go by what meanie political opponents say about the Maverick. It’s all a crock. McCain didn’t firebomb the negotiations at all. (Donald Douglas of American Power quotes Jennifer Rubin citing a statement from the McCain campaign:
At today’s cabinet meeting, John McCain did not attack any proposal or endorse any plan. John McCain simply urged that for any proposal to enjoy the confidence of the American people, stressing that all sides would have to cooperate and build a bipartisan consensus for a solution that protects taxpayers.
The official position of the McCain campaign is that John McCain offered no proposal, endorsed no proposal, offering instead [NOTHING OF SUBSTANCE] for input. Not Maverick.
There’s no there there, folks. Like the house of cards we lovingly call Wall Street, there is no Truth in these Rorschachian presidential politics.
Since there is no truth, or substance, or Maverickness in this post so far, Your Montag will now make it up to you with humorous dialog from some mid-nineties hipster independent film, that maybe only I remember. Is it the one where Eric Stoltz downs a fifth of vodka (all at once!) and claims his first memory to be of the birth canal? Maybe. But this post isn’t about no birth canal. Here we have the Quentin Tarrantino cameo Top Gun monologue. Though it may not be Maverick, it is fairly punk rock, (the character’s name is Sid, even!)
[Note: Now with less reading! See update below for video.]
Sid: You want subversion on a massive level. You know what one of the greatest fucking scripts ever written in the history of Hollywood is? Top Gun.
Duane: Oh, come on.
Sid: Top Gun is fucking great. What is Top Gun? You think it’s a story about a bunch of fighter pilots.
Duane: It’s about a bunch of guys waving their dicks around.
Sid: It is a story about a man’s struggle with his own homosexuality. It is! That is what Top Gun is about, man. You’ve got Maverick, all right? He’s on the edge, man. He’s right on the fucking line, all right? And you’ve got Iceman, and all his crew. They’re gay, they represent the gay man, all right? And they’re saying, go, go the gay way, go the gay way. He could go both ways.
Duane: What about Kelly McGillis?
Sid: Kelly McGillis, she’s heterosexuality. She’s saying: no, no, no, no, no, no, go the normal way, play by the rules, go the normal way. They’re saying no, go the gay way, be the gay way, go for the gay way, all right? That is what’s going on throughout that whole movie… He goes to her house, all right? It looks like they’re going to have sex, you know, they’re just kind of sitting back, he’s takin’ a shower and everything. They don’t have sex. He gets on the motorcycle, drives away. She’s like, “What the fuck, what the fuck is going on here?” Next scene, next scene you see her, she’s in the elevator, she is dressed like a guy. She’s got the cap on, she’s got the aviator glasses, she’s wearing the same jacket that the Iceman wears. She is, okay, this is how I gotta get this guy, this guy’s going towards the gay way, I gotta bring him back, I gotta bring him back from the gay way, so I’ll do that through subterfuge, I’m gonna dress like a man. All right? That is how she approaches it. Okay, now let me just ask you – I’m gonna digress for two seconds here. I met this girl Amy here, she’s like floating around here and everything. Now, she just got divorced, right? All right, but the REAL ending of the movie is when they fight the MIGs at the end, all right? Because he has passed over into the gay way. They are this gay fighting fucking force, all right? And they’re beating the Russians, the gays are beating the Russians. And it’s over, and they fucking land, and Iceman’s been trying to get Maverick the entire time, and finally, he’s got him, all right? And what is the last fucking line that they have together? They’re all hugging and kissing and happy with each other, and Ice comes up to Maverick, and he says, “Man, you can ride my tail, anytime!” And what does Maverick say? “You can ride mine!” Swordfight! Swordfight! Fuckin’ A, man!
UPDATE:
Stump Lane 
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