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The Passive Aggressive War on Christmas

November 15, 2007

Christmas Story SantaSome battles in the War on Christmas are less fierce, (and less sensical,) than others:

One disgruntled Santa told the newspaper a recruitment firm warned him not to use “ho ho ho” because it could frighten children and was too close to “ho,” a US slang term for prostitute. [Santas warned ‘ho ho ho’ offensive to women]

Frighten children?! This many children haven’t been unnecessarily frightened by a thing since automatic flush toilets started going off half-cocked! Unless you count all the kids gettin’ down to the FEMA Rap for Kids and taking it seriously. (Hat tip: IOZ.)

I think the Santas should just say, “heh,” to maximize the cynicism of the holiday and covertly prepare the children for the truth. When the lie unravels they’ll be able to look back and realize, “I always thought something was up with Santa.”

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One Comment leave one →
  1. November 16, 2007 1:26 AM

    How is Santa gonna hustle and flow if he ain’t got no ho ho hos?

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