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Random 11 – Volume 12 (Sort Of)

June 9, 2006

Most people who find this site through a search engine come here looking for either Gary Gnu or Huey Freeman. The first being a puppet newscaster from faraway children’s show The Great Space Coaster, the latter the hero of Aaron McGruder’s comic strip and cartoon show The Boondocks. Unfortunately for these intrepid searchers, The Stump has likely little of what they are looking for. One being simply the title of our category for short news items, and the other leading to this lazy post.

Well, in following Norbizness’es lead on this Friday’s “random” musical audit, we’ll look at some of our other search terms, perverted or otherwise, and recommend songs to listen to while you while away your days trawling the internets.

The format is:
“Search term” — [Link to the post that likely came up as a result.] — [Explanation if needed.]
Song Title — Song Artist.

  1. “jedi sex”My Side of the Story
    Walk With Me — Jedi Mind Tricks
  2. “girls ass” — Not sure what post this search leads to. I’d like to know, though.
    What U Sittin On — Danger Mouse & Jemeni
  3. “feats fetish girls”The fetish between us — If by ‘feat’ one meant ‘fear’ and by ‘fetish’ one meant ‘factory’ and the ‘girls’ was unintentional, then I’d recommend…
    Descent — Fear Factory
  4. “tortur testicles”Easy on my balls, I’m an American
    A choice: Mother — Pink Floyd, or Torture — The Cure
  5. “coke marketing”Cokehead Junkytude
    Cocaine — Buckcherry
  6. “enema givers”The Rendition Group
    A choice: Ænema — Tool, or Time Bomb — Rancid
  7. “big legged women aint got no soul”Black Dog — Yeah, Black Dog is ok, but how about a much better song from the Zep?
    Ten Years Gone — Led Zeppelin
  8. “lexisnexis coat hanger abortion”I Do Not Like That Sam I Am — This search reminds me of the book Sanctuary by William Faulkner, the title of which matches a song that may, but likely doesn’t, have something to do with said book or alleyway abortions.
    Sanctuary — J Geils Band
  9. “katrina chronology”Katrina Chronology — What the president seemed to be doing (see song title) during hurricane Katrina.
    Walking on Sunshine — Katrina and the Waves
  10. “eugene martone lightning boy”Random Eleven – Volume 2 — A reference to the Ralph Macchio movie Crossroads (not the Britney Spears one.) I could point you to some Zappa or David Lee Roth song featuring the Devil’s own guitarist, Jack Butler (Steve Vai.) But I’d rather refer you to the music that was the motivating force for the characters of that movie.
    Cross Road Blues — Robert Johnson
  11. “sex with monkey”Brad and Angelina’s Wild Monkey Sex
    Monkey Gone to Heaven — The Pixies

Bonus #12: “bunghole in one”Image: Bung Hole Plug Tool — I don’t know of a song appropriate to this search term, so here is a song I just think everyone should listen to. (Lyrics here.)
Overcome (The Recapitulation) — RX Bandits

Well, that was a lot more work that it’s probably worth. I’ll now pay for it.

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