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Whoever Did This Must Really Hate Coffee

June 4, 2009

Here’s another case of sexually repressed, paternalistic reactionaries using violence to further politico-moralistic objectives. Presumably.

Arson levels topless shop

I say “presumably” because we don’t know who did this yet or what their motives were. Nor do we know if they were aware of the seven people living in the building, thus indicating attempted murder in addition to arson. We do know that the topless coffee shop had stirred up controversy in the sleepy Maine town of Vassalboro, and that the arson occurred just hours after the shop owner met with town planners on “to extend[ing] the shop’s hours of operation to 1 a.m., expand[ing] the parking lot for employees and hav[ing] its wait staff dancing to the music of a disc jockey.”

I’m with IOZ in the conviction that “terrorism” has become nothing but a propaganda term of art, unhelpful in discourse without first carefully defining one’s terms. However, in keeping with the Agitprop mission, as well as my own mantra, “question everything,” riddle me this: can this be called terrorism?

Sabotage and destruction of property earn the label in cases of “eco-terrorism,” so it would seem the simple act of arson, combined with the presumed politico-moral motives, might make this a case of, I don’t know, “porno-terrorism?”

On the other hand, if the arsonist had knowledge of the building’s human occupants, and this was not only arson, but attempted murder, it might fall into a category not unlike pro-lifers murdering doctors which apparently doesn’t merit the terrorism label.

Wait, isn’t that backwards?

No. Let us consider the purpose of the propaganda:

  1. We must be perpetually aware of the constant looming threat of danger. Domestic terrorism! O, NOES!!!!11!!
  2. We must also be perpetually grateful for our rulers’ vigilant protection. They have kept us safe. There have been no successful terrorist strikes against The Homeland since 9-11.
5 Comments leave one →
  1. June 4, 2009 12:09 PM

    I believe you are referring to “terrornography.”

  2. June 4, 2009 12:31 PM

    “erotofascism” maybe?

  3. June 4, 2009 2:40 PM

    Definitely the work of a religious extremist. Or a radical feminist.

  4. June 4, 2009 7:27 PM

    I think it was probably someone who wanted fresh milk for their coffee and was bummed to find it came from a carton…

  5. June 5, 2009 10:28 AM

    Won’t someone please think of the boobies?

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