Big Trouble in Little Foppingadreef

“Sir, there is a problem in the Foppingadreef division.”

“Foppingadreef? What’s that?”

“Uhh… let’s just say it’s… offshore.”

“Hmm. OK. So what’s the problem?”

“Well, sir, it seems the Foppingadreef folks paid some taxes… offshore.”

“That’s not a problem, is it? I’m sure it was a heck of a lot cheaper than paying taxes here!”

“Well, yeah, that’s how it’s supposed to work. But what happened was… there was a… clerical error stateside, and we didn’t get the taxes we paid offshore off the books. It looks as though we ended up paying taxes on those taxes here at home.”

“Taxes? On taxes?! That’s unamerican!”

“We have the same problem with Lumagrove and Laperouse. Basically everything we wrung through Pinestead Holdings is all balled up on the tax end… and the worst of it is, the IRS is fighting us on it.”

“[Sigh] OK. Here’s what we do. The government just gave us a bunch of money, right?”

“Yeah.”

“OK. What I want you to do is this: take some of that money… and sue the fuckers!!”

“Who now?”

“The government.”

…

“To get back the money they owe us.”

…

“There’s a bonus in it for you if you can pull this off.”

“OK, Sir. Yes, Sir. I’m on it!”