Ultimate Battle: Son of Doom vs. Merciless Dick

“…Nothing in the Hayes book suggests that Mr. Cheney is about to do it — except for that the vice president spent nearly 30 hours cooperating with the author and apparently gave the okay for many of his friends and colleagues to grant similar access … The Richard Cheney described in this book isn’t vain enough to do that simply for his reputation in history. My own guess — okay, hope — is that Mr. Cheney has taken a look at the Republican presidential field and sees an opening. If Iowa and New Hampshire Republicans start receiving copies of ‘Cheney’ in their mailboxes, Mr. Cheney’s popularity may yet begin to climb.” [Editor & Publisher: ‘N.Y. Sun’ Still Wants Cheney to Run for President]

“So whadda ya say, Dick, you in?”

“No. I don’t want to be president. I’ll stay on as vice president, if Dumbya decides to stick around for another term, though.”

“I don’t think he can do that. Isn’t there a limit or something?”

“There’s no term limits in Foxholes, son… And we’ve still got a few tricks up our sleeve.”

“Uhhmmm… Oh?”

“Naaah, I’m just pulling your leg, boy. Just floating a little trial balloon there, cool your jets.”

“Oh, ok. So, if you’re not gonna run it’s just Thompson then.”

“He’s a fantastic leader, and people loved him in The Hunt for Red October.“

“Me too! D’you got any advice for Thompson?”

“I’ll be more than happy to head up Freddy’s vice presidential running-mate search. I know just the man for the job.”