G. Will + G. Wallace = G. Willace… What’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?!
Oppressive, white nationalist, flat-Earthers who resist modernization and favor playing fields that slope downhill into the other team’s goal, unite!!
Chaplain Montag of the First Knights of the 19 Quart Lobster Pot
Our brave contingent, our “aggrieved minority” took its lumps in the “’60s tumults.” Indeed, that was a dark and furious time. But we’re back, baby, and we’re aggrieveder and minoritier than ever! Our noble leader, George Will, has issued a call to arms.
Father Will reminds us of our shinier moments and past glories, like the early successes of the George Wallace presidential campaign. But he also warns that third party politics is not the elixir for what ails US. Good Will prescribes continued and stringent fidelity to the two-and-only-two party political system, a tonic which, while it hasn’t been quite the miracle cure to restore energy and power, hasn’t poisoned us either.
If we are to maintain a grasp on what influence our little group has managed to scrape together over our storied history together, we must follow the doctor’s orders while still taking the lessons of George Wallace to heart.
We must stand in the schoolhouse door of US electoral politics if our cohort’s aggrievement is to ever be healed! We Will overcome this oppression.