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March 12, 2007

Comment Noir

Fafmissen, I give you your new I Miss Fafblog Commenter of the Week, Spot!

Like two jazz masters, Ken and the puppethead threw down Noir-Style in the shadowy netherworld of the Pardon Me post and comment thread:

She had gams like the pillars of Hercules, and she was standing in front of my desk, bawling like a kid who dropped an all day sucker in the gutter.

Only the sucker was me, and the gutter was my office. I’m Libby. Scooter Libby, hard boiled PI.

I looked up. Christ, even her tear filled eyes looked like they were used to the feel of cheap lingerie. I lit a cigarette.

She sobbed some words at me, but my mind was somewhere else. I brought it back – this might be important. She started again. I lit another cigarette.

“It’s… it’s….. the Asp…. Aspens. They’re not… turning…. not turning!”

I rolled my eyes. Stupid dame. I lit another cigarette, and put out the first one, but left the second burning in the ashtray while I smoked the third. Then I got mad. Then I got mean. I lit another cigarette.

“Can the sobs and listen sister! They turn in clusters, see? Clusters, because their roots connect them. Yes, I said it! CLUSTERS!”

She gasped. I could tell I’d hit a nerve, but I wasn’t through. I was going to hit some more nerves, and hit them hard, — harder than they’d ever been hit before.

But first, I needed a smoke.

Good stuff, guys, and well played, thepuppethead!

MarkC earns unofficial first runner-up honors with:

“You shall have the body!” George screamed to Tull in Latin, as he removed his suspenders.*

*Since then, of course, the suspenders have been in the Smithsonian, where the sign reads: “Suspenders of habeas corpus (on loan from the Hague Museum of Criminal Sartorial History).”

Because who can resist the idea of a Hague Museum of Criminal Sartorial History?

Special thanks to mistah charley, ph.d. whose comment over at A Tiny Revolution really brung the traffic this week.

Lastly, to the searcher who found theirself here after typing “microwave gizzard” into the trusty search machine:

We hope you found what you were looking for here at IMFB,S!

3 Comments leave one →
  1. R2K permalink
    March 12, 2007 8:29 AM

    : )

  2. Montag permalink
    March 12, 2007 10:16 AM


  3. thepuppethead permalink
    March 15, 2007 6:39 PM

    I love you guys.

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