Gang Activity: Joe Cowers Fastidious in the Presence of the One Guy Who Can Declare Him an Enemy Combatant, Disregard Habeas Corpus and Detain and Torture Him Indefinitely
Suggestion: read the original comic first to get a feel for the joke, then read the alternative version. You’re invited to leave your own take on the joke in our underpopulated comment section. Click here for past examples.
“I think I’m going to flunk my history test today on account of sickness.”
“You’re sick?”
“No, but the fellow I copy from is home with a cold!”
YOU: What the fuck, Montag, that’s the same as the original. You didn’t change shit!
ME: Well, yeah. I’m cowering fastidious, myself. Fuck, did you read my fucking fortune?!
Antiwar.com: Are You an ‘Unlawful Combatant’?
Foreign Policy: Who can be an enemy combatant?
Palm Beach Post: Impose strict definition for ‘enemy combatant’
Common Dreams: Center for Constitutional Rights Files First New Challenges to Military Commissions Act
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Stump Lane 
So did you blow bubbles with your Bazooka gum?
Regarding your fortune, you don’t have plans to fly somewhere in the near future, do you?
Sure, but it’s risky, though. It’s still that old-school sticky shit. If you pop a bubble and on your face, you’ll be all day trying to get it off.
Oh, yeah. No I wasn’t planning on flying anywhere. But I put on clean underwear this morning in case I get renditioned.