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Friday Pie Blog: PSYCHE!

September 29, 2006

“I’m skeptical,” said the Defense Secretary about recent intelligence reports.
Four Finger Rumsfeld

It is impossible to know with any precision whether the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have created more terrorists than they’ve killed, U.S. Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld said Thursday.

“But if you really have to pin me down how many have been created — I don’t know — I’d say, ‘Four,'” said Rumsfeld. “Hell, we’ve killed or captured more than that in Al-Qaeda number two’s alone!”

CBS News/Associated Press: Rumsfeld Skeptical Of Intel Analysis, Secretary Says It’s Impossible To Know Whether Wars Created More Terror

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Ken from Ken's Kitchen permalink
    September 30, 2006 10:41 AM

    Speaking of “Al-Qaeda number two’s”…The White House is under fire to release the Defense Anthropology Agency’s long awaited analysis of recovered fossilized fecal matter of the Islamist insurgents in Iraq.Some analysts speculate that these hardened stools posit a symbolic connection between ‘dirt’ and ‘the West’ as the formative relationship of the Jihadists’ cosmology, the desired elimination of both in the search for ‘purity’ constituting then ‘a positive reordering of the Middle East.’ Of course, from a social standpoint, Islamists claims that ‘what is decreed impure, and thus execrated and condemned by a culture, is an object out of place, a cause for disorder’. Ironically, these timeless turds are themselves in ‘ambiguous and confusing’ circumstances, because they are of the body but then physically dislodged from it. And finally flushed as it were, to Washington DC, no less!Consequently, whoopsie is separated from the individual who created it, and from the terrorists who reject it. Defense analysts have paid close attention to this ‘disorder,’ understanding that the treatment of impurity and the concomitant ‘Western imperialism’ within a given terrorist group’s conceptualization of its own nature becomes critical to a full and accurate understanding of that terrorist group. The DAA analysis attempts to do just that, focusing on the subversive, ‘Mardi Gras’ nature of the grotesque body and its poopie-producing ‘bottom half,’ or ‘downtown.’Finally, the copious amount of doody Jihadists have spawned since 2003 seems to suggest that the Iraq war has increased the danger of terrorism against the United States. According to the report, the anthropology agencies conclude Islamic radicalism ‘has exploded violently from the Middle East like a bad case of Irritable Bowel Syndrome (also called ‘Bin Laden’s Revenge’) and seeped across the globe.’ The Agency recommends that citizens of the world stay away from coffee, milk, spicy, fried and junk foods, fast women and alchohol, which only appear to aggravate the problem.

  2. MarkC permalink
    October 5, 2006 12:00 PM

    ken is truly the scatalogical brother of Donald, the philosopher king of the multiverse, temporarily appearing as avatar-Secretary of the Department of Depends.

  3. Anonymous permalink
    October 5, 2006 4:26 PM

    Please consider, if you will, the strip ‘Pearls Before Swine’ by Stephan Pastis, a most faffy Weltanschauung it has. (A direct Rod Serling/Yoda quote),to be found at

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