My Side of the Story

After Obi-Wan and I parted ways– I mean after he left me to die on Mustafaar — the rest of the story, while for the most part factually true, seems to have been pieced together based on conjecture and Obi-Wan’s unenlightened point of view.

Obi-Wan disfigured me so thoroughly that I would have to rely on the Empire’s infinite resources and technology for my continued survival. I needed them as much as the Emperor needed me. I would need time to regain my strength if I was to ever carry out my Jedi mandate to destroy the Sith, and fulfill my destiny.

During this recovery period, I would receive Sith training from Sidious. I quickly gained strength through anger. In his presence I could sense his strength with the Dark Side was far greater than mine. I sensed, too, that he was withholding things from me about the force. Maybe by design, the fact that he did so, increased my anger with him and aggravated the old wounds from Jedi training. As a child I was a slave, I felt that the Jedi were trying to enslave me to their traditions and my destiny to fulfill the prophecy. In my attempts to escape slavery I have become more enslaved to Sidious than I was even to Watto as a child.

Despite the deep well of anger I had access to, I eventually came to realize that I would never be strong enough to destroy Sidious alone. Not wanting to give in to despair, I used my Jedi knowledge for patience and meditation. When I was alone and far enough removed from Sidious that he would not sense it, I would meditate and wait for the path to my destiny to appear before me. It was at those times that my old Master Qui-Gon Gin spoke to me. He provided guidance and continued training to hone my Jedi skills.

Even though I was the Emperor’s Apprentice, I was not automatically given the rank within the Imperial Forces that that title might seem to imply. Sidious was treating me exactly as the Jedi had. I would have to progress through the ranks if I was to gain enough power to be able to challenge the Emperor. I climbed the Imperial ladder by assassinating any officers that got in the way, either of my mission, or my attempts to gain rank; like Machiavelli, but with balls. In this way I was able to whittle away the Imperials most dangerous to the Rebel Alliance, the only force rising in resistance to the Emperor. I would need their help to achieve my goal. It became a balancing act to do these things without raising the Emperor’s suspicions.

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