My Side of the Story

After the battle at the Jedi temple, it was off to Mustafaar to slaughter the separatist leaders. That was a task I was really looking forward to. Those animals had been trying to kill Padme since before the Clone Wars started. Their war had killed many Jedi, including many attempts on the lives of Obi-Wan and myself. They deserved the wrath I had in store for them. But first, I stopped by the apartment to see Padme. The joy of being in her presence did little to mitigate the feelings of anguish over the temple battle, the regret over my failure against the Sith, or the rage I was saving up for the separatists. I tried to assure her that everything was alright, but she could sense the change in me. When I saw the terror in her eyes as she looked at me, my heart broke once more.

When I got to Mustafaar, I made short work of the separatist leaders. They offered no resistance. I cut them down as easily as a squad of the battle droids they commanded. Afterward, I stood on a catwalk overlooking a river of lava. I felt the heat on my face. I reflected on the helplessness of my situation and a growing burden of guilt.

I could sense that Sidious’ plan to murder all of the Jedi was moving forward– there was a disturbance in the Force –the connections I had with my Jedi brethren were detaching one by one. I needed Padme. I knew she could calm and comfort me. She could save me from this empty helpless feeling. She would know what to do.

I was surprised to see Padme’s ship arrive, and was feeling more than a little creeped out that I had been able to summon her to this inhospitable place with my feelings. I was overjoyed to see her, but when I told her, “I am more powerful than the Chancellor. I can overthrow him, and together you and I can rule the galaxy. Make things the way we want them to be,” she again looked at me with horror in her eyes. I was devastated. She was ashamed of me. She hated what I was doing, what I was becoming. She said, “I don’t know you anymore. Anakin, you’re breaking my heart.” Her sadness when she said this gutted me. She went on, “I’ll never stop loving you, but you are going down a path I can’t follow.” I was crushed. I was confused. My dear Padme was here, but I still did not know what to do. Serving Sidious was my only chance to save her life, but it meant losing her forever anyway.

Then I saw him. Obi-Wan appeared in the hatchway of Padme’s ship. They’d betrayed me! Padme had let Obi-Wan and his jealousy manipulate her. I was furious at both of them. My anger got the best of me. By the time I realized my thoughts were strangling Padme, and I released her, she fell to the ground unconscious. I was scared that I’d hurt her, but I could sense that she would survive. I looked at Obi-Wan and could feel his anger flowing. I would make him pay for his betrayal.

Obi-Wan was like a brother. And as with brothers, we saved our best for competition with each other. Because he had involved Padme in his scheme, this battle with Obi-Wan was even more personal. I could never trust him again, not even in my mission to destroy the Sith. Yes, after all those years together I had still never impressed Obi-Wan with my skill. He always criticized me. He was domineering– a bully in a relationship based on my striving for his approval, and petty competition. Unlike traditional brothers though, instead of pinning me down and making me hit myself with my own hand, he cut off both my legs and my good arm and left me for dead in a lava flow to burn.

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