YOU: For one thing, Montag, the whole waterboarding discussion is SO over!
ME: Yeah, this thing has been rattling around inside my head for a few weeks now.
YOU: And who even knows who John Yoo is anymore? OBSCURE!
ME: [sigh]
As a refresher, John Yoo is the fellow who wrote the memo staking out the OFFAL administration’s legal justification for the use of (not) torture.
For the UNITED FUCKING STATES use of (NOT) TORTURE as an INSTRUMENT OF STATE POLICY.
Incidentally, Yoo is also memorable for once positing that it was in the president’s power to order the crushing of the testicles of the child of an uncooperative prisoner in order to get the location of a good fishing hole. (So long as the president thinks it necessary.)
Thus John Yoo “the Baptist” prepared the way for the US’s newest weapon: a 900 foot messiah that accepts monumental handjobs from Oral Roberts University and ejaculates Freedom. When he makes sweet sweet love, even removes his foot from Democratic Iraq’s throat long enough to go ATM, and bust the gift of Liberty across her mascara-and-tear-streaked face.
900 Foot Messiah says, “It’s consensual! No exploitation here!”
And, “Shut the fuck up, bitch!”
And a little mopping up and a satisfying piss later, “Who’s next?”
Thanks for that, John Yoo!
Yoo da MAN!
But seriously… Read more…
Stump Lane 