Stump Lane

Image courtesy Guys From Area 51.

I’M NOT VOTING. WATCH ME. I’ve put off writing this post for a while now, though I have hinted at the conclusion I’ve come to several times previously. The thing is, coming out and saying “I’m not voting,” doesn’t play well. Even friends and family don’t seem to know how to process such a radical idea. It’s similar to coming out as an atheist to a casual acquaintance. When the discussion doesn’t go well, it really doesn’t go well. To the religious: like the proverbial fart in church. But how radical an idea is it really, when a full third of the population regularly engages in the practice? (Or more correctly, doesn’t.) Yet when you read the first sentence of this post, you thought, hey, here’s “a deadbeat, a loser, someone the square community won’t give a shit about.” (My Captain, forgive me for borrowing your shtick.) Which is why I wouldn’t ordinarily make the admission unsolicited. Very few of my acquaintances ever come out and inquire about my religious affiliation. Of course, with the election coming up, many have been asking about my political affiliation.

But it seems silly to even bring it up! Why not post instead that I don’t believe in fairies, or Santa Claus, or in honor of Halloween, ghosts? Because when someone asks, “hey, Montag, you believe in ghosts?” I can answer with a simple “pssshaw!” But when someone is asking for your take on very personal, deeply held beliefs and articles of faith, as in: ‘this is democracy and my vote really matters!’, it would be impolite to answer so dismissively. I’m not a monster, after all. “Government of the people, by the people, for the people,” sounds great, but then again, so does ‘if you catch a leprechaun he’ll take you to his pot of gold.’ The veracity of one of these things, I am absurdly compelled to hold an opinion on. So he goes.

YOU: Hey, Montag, who you going to vote for?
ME: I’m not voting.
YOU: Wait, what?
ME: I’m not voting. Watch me. Read more…